


Dearest Divine

by OhTheatre



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, M/M, this is what i like to call 2 am self indulgent angst enjoy!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-02-01 03:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21357949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhTheatre/pseuds/OhTheatre
Summary: Logan opens a letter long-awaited
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Logicality, Prinxiety
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	Dearest Divine

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: I honestly don't know where this came from, I just was in the mood for some angst and also logicality so...this!  
warnings: implied death, implied illness, angst, swearing

“You still haven't read it?” Virgil questions, Logan sighs getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over. The party had gotten quite loud, and a little too much for Logan's taste. He was also gaining quite bored with the rich facade as if anyone in this room actually cared about the charity and weren't just here to look pretty.

“Don't pressure him Virge” Roman reprimands his husband, examining the room with a drink in one hand and Virgil's hand in his other. “He will read it when he is ready” That doesn't help, he should be ready, Virgil is right.

“Ro, it's been two years” Virgil reminds, Logan wonders when he should begin to tune them out. “Would you wait for two years?” Roman scoffs, Virgil waits expectantly.

“No! But that's because I'm impatient, and Logan is different and…” He trails off watching Logan, the man's eyes were glazed over, thinking of anything else. “Look what you've done” Roman whispers, Virgil hits him softly.

“I didn't _do_ anything” He responds, he snaps carefully in Logan's face, grounding the intellectual. “I'm sorry L, we will stop talking about it” Virgil promises, Logan wants to thank them but shakes his head.

“Sorry boys, but I'm growing bored of the tiresome event, I think I'm going to take my leave” Logan announces, Roman and Virgil share a concerned look. “It's been...an evening” He decides, he starts to leave quickly stopped by the pair.

“Where do you think you're going?” Virgil inquires, Logan raises an eyebrow. “Dude, you have to be here. It's for you…” He gestures towards the poster, another thing Logan hated. The smiling face, the frozen blue eyes, fake...all of it. 

“It's for money” He corrects, though he feels awful he’ll apologize to his friends in the morning. “He...wouldn't want any of this” Logan claims, Roman sighs, his demeanor softening. Virgil huffs, folding his arms. “I'm going home” He finalizes. He begins his way to the door, grabbing his coat.

“You don't know that!” Virgil cries, his voice almost carries but the guests turn back to their own affairs. Logan spins on his heel, his face kept even, a steady lock keeping his emotions in check. Virgil and Roman catch up to him. “Even if it is for money, the money is going to the cause. And yeah, he wouldn't want it for himself but for everyone else?” Virgil had a point, and evidence to back it up. “You two would throw events like this all the time, all going to a different equally important cause”

“Yes but-” Logan begins but Virgil isn't done.

“Let them do this for you, ignore the fancy dresses, the drunken groups…” Virgil's slows, a supportive smile. Logan eyes the crowd, the singing, the dancing, the hyenas tearing each other apart at the auction. No one batting an eye at the issue, they're not doing this for him.

“Goodnight Virgil” Logan gives it one last look before making his way out the door, the cool air filled with city silence hitting him instantly. Driving home, listening to soft classical music and the hum of the air conditioner used to be pleasant. Now it was a chore and every small thing annoyed him. Arriving home, he parked the car lazily slumping into the house. Purposely ignoring the incessant amount of calls from his friends.

The house felt empty, which it wasn't. Far from it, lined with carefully picked furniture, and the constant flash of soothing warm colors was no accident. Everything was there, missing only the fresh smell of cooking that typically was wafting from the kitchen.

Usually, if Logan simply threw his coat down, he would be reminded to hang it up. But now, it would lay there until Logan found the energy to hang it up. It was almost sad how desperate he was for anything because he used to beg for silence, peace...now he wanted anything but. Virgil was right in a sense, those parties were their trademark. But he knew, when they threw them, they meant more than a gathering to show off how much money one had.

Picking himself off the couch, he hoisted himself to his office. The office was always the one place he was alone, no matter what. It wasn't a rule but it was respected, _he _always made sure of that. Now the entire house was like that and the office was the only place it felt normal. Logan had to wonder why he insisted the room be lit solely by candles, but the amber warmth was something he never regretted. However, the dusty envelope on his desk left untouched _was_ something he regretted. He refused to move it.

“Read the letter Logan,” He told himself, the gold stamp now shining duller than ever. He sits now, tracing his fingers alongside the handcrafted chair. It could be early morning or mid-afternoon and Logan wouldn't be able to tell. That was the beauty, the selling point of his office. Time stood still, it was just him and his pens, the pile of books and drafts sitting next to him. The coaster where the occasional tea would sit, though it hadn't seen a stain in years, Logan's tea just wasn't as good. “Just do it” He pushes. As he had done so many times before, he took the letter opening, examining his wriggled reflection. Except for this time it was different, he took it one step further. His hands shook as he blew the dust off the envelope, holding it perfectly still after. He slides the opener under a slit, running it along, the sound of separation piercing. And then it was open. He wasted no time pulling out the paper, and unfolding it, the last thing to do was to read it.

_Dearest Divine,_

Oh, this was not going to be easy, Logan concluded, taking a breath before continuing.

_Take your time. I know a part of you will be itching to rip open the letter but wait. Not too long, just until you're ready. _

Logan smiled, it's small and almost missed but its there.

_Remember when we took that walk around the park? It was very late, and you warned against it. What was it that you said?_

“We could be kidnapped, or worse killed” Logan remembers, as he reads the same words on the page.

_But then we took the walk anyway, and we saw the most adorable puppy. We sat in the grass for just a little while and watched the stars. And you told me about the constellations, the stories and the names, and the most beautiful ones. You told me which was your favorite..._

“Microscopium” Logan barely whispered it had been crossed out and rewritten, the dry stain revealing a misspelling of the word.

_See? I listen. I personally like ‘Pictor’._

“Painters ease” Logan sighed, it was simple but sweet.

_After that, I did try to listen but you just looked so entranced. Has anyone ever told you that your eyes sparkle?_

“Only you” Logan replied, only slightly hoping for a response

_I could listen to you talk about stars forever, because you are my star_

Guess you really can write as you speak, Logan had always wondered whether that was possible.

_Logan my love, my life I know you're fighting, you're fighting so hard. But there's only so much you can do, I know it's hard to believe but the doctors are trying._

It was faint but Logan squinted swearing he could see something, investigating further it had appeared the remnants of a small drop of liquid had seeped the letter. A tear Logan presumed, as soon as he saw it, it became more prominent as if it had surfaced. Odd, but then it grew. A moment of panic set in as he realized the tears present on his own face, tickling his cheeks as they trickled down.

“Oh goodness” He rushes dabbing the paper softly with the ends of his shirt, this was it, this was all he had he couldn't destroy it. Wiping away his tears, keeping the letter further away for safety he continued.

_Lo, when I'm gone...don't push them away. I know it'll hurt but you need them. They love you and whether you care to admit it, you love them. And they'll need you, they are going to be hurting, you will be trapped in your own grief as the rest of the world pushes forward, don't do it alone._

He really did owe Virgil and Roman quite the apology.

_I'm so lucky to have loved you and to have felt your love in return. Someday soon someone else will get to experience it, and it's magical. You love so deep and so true, it makes me wonder what I did to deserve you._

“What you did to deserve me? Isn't that my line?” Logan wonders, he's not sure to who but a small part had always wished he was still here.

_I love you so much starlight, you were and always will be my love. From the moment we met at the gala, to the promises we exchanged in whispers, to the everlasting love even through our darkest times, I love you._

“I love you” Logan had not dared uttered those words since his passing, they were simply reserved for only him, it felt like something had unlocked in him.

_Yours forever and always, Patton_

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me some comments! Let me know what you think!


End file.
